watched many tv series, movies, and even a stage performance recently.
so many different emotions, flowing through my heart,
hence my mood swings.
went out partying, spent time with family,
or couped up at home by myself,
i think i have done them all, looking for ways to cheer myself up,
looking for that ultimate 'pick me up',
but the sense of lost only gets greater after each and every measure.
it is strange, how can i person not know how to be happy?



watched a tv series based on a letter kids wrote,
to his/her adult self at the age of 20.
i wondered, what was i doing when i was 20?
it's true, bad memories do tend to become vague,
tucked furthur away inside the brain.
when i was 20, i thought i found the love of my life,
that i would live happily ever after, in a place i love the most,
surronded by love and love one, green trees and blue sky,
life was just wonferful then.
but of course, the story did not end that way,
for i am still here,
writing about how i was at the age of 20.
what would i say to me, the future me, the me at 30?
i don't know, but at 30,
i know what i would say to the one 20-yrs-old me.


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